no-maj
Sunday, 2 September 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Deathly Hallows (part 2)
Yesterday was September 1, and as any proper self-proclaimed Potterhead knows what that means, I thought it was perfect to finish the "A No Maj-Ponders Potter" saga today, just like the epilogue at the end of this movie. Here's the last post of this journey!
“I now come to the end of this wonderful collection of films with the incredible Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (part 2) (2011). I would like to make an analysis not only of the last chapter but also of the whole series.
At the beginning of the movie, Harry Potter is in a patient's house doing some illegal trading. Turns out he wants to rob a bank and is coercing a poor employee into letting him in. The truth is that not only does he get the little creature's help in exchange for the Gryffindor sword, but he can also enter the bank incredibly easily using only a small amount of charms. For a magic bank, it seemed ridiculously incompetent dealing with magical users. Harry then finds himself in someone's vault and steals a glass of gold, but he doesn't get to laugh because the goblin tries to catch him there, which probably earned him the employee's of the month bonus. But unfortunately, Harry Potter convinces a dragon to give him a ride. He's probably promised him gold, as he had tried to do the same thing with the man at the bank. It's already known that dragons love gold, sometimes even more than Harry Potter himself. Both dragons and crows like to collect shiny things to put in the nest, this is more than known.
Anyone who thinks that Harry Potter's thirst for expensive gold objects and accessories ends here is well-mistaken because he has the nerve to go ask a ghost for a tiara to and then steals it when everyone is distracted. His friends Hermione and Ron, meanwhile, break the glass to stop Harry's mania from stealing other people's gold, and also because they feel bad about keeping stolen items in their possession. I just don't know why they didn't turn it over to the police or give it back to the owner.
Then Voldemort, who walks around with a pet snake, arrives at Hogwarts with a lot of people and tries to invade it but isn't powerful enough so he meets with Snape and the snake ends up killing the sinister teacher. In his last breath, he can still ask Harry Potter to collect his tears and take them to that pot where they put the spaghetti. When Harry dips his head in the water that he sees the true story of Snape and we all begin to like him very much.
Approaching the end of the film, Harry meets Voldemort in a forest revealing some naivety, as one shouldn't respond to this kind of anonymous invitations. We could totally predict that Voldemort was going to cast an avada kedavra. Harry dies and Voldemort has a big party and invites everyone, but then Harry wakes up and defeats the fearsome wizard in an exciting battle.
As always, here are my thoughts on the characters in this movie:
Harry Potter: In this film, he was clearly the most influential character and one who carried the story forward the most. Also because his friends are more concerned with each other than helping him defeat one of the most powerful wizards ever.
Ron and Hermione: In the last chapters of the film it seemed to me that there is no group of 3 friends and there is a group of 1 + 2 friends. I am not saying that the romance between them is not to be explored but I think it could have been done differently.
Harry's child: Whoever thought that a child thinking he's the most powerful sorcerer in the world was evil and would annoys a lot of people, get ready for the son of the strongest sorcerer in the world who defeated Voldemort. I bet at this time at Hogwarts, they're all fed up with the conversation "my dad is stronger than yours because he beat the bald demon."
Snape: It was difficult to escape the spoilers and I was writing as someone who didn't know the final twist would have as a first thought but the truth is that that mysterious black aura captivates the viewer.
Voldemort: It started out as a teacher's skin disease and ended up with an army behind and almost killed our dear Potter. It's a blatant case in which one could well have cut off evil at the root.
The bad guys: They'd always been one step ahead but when the good guys discovered that Voldemort kept his soul in pieces of costume jewelry, there was a little more balance.
The good ones: at first they helped Harry a lot but by the end they were already hanging a bit in his powers. The peak of the influence of a good character comes after his death, and nothing can get out of my head that if Voldemort had killed half a dozen more people, he would have been defeated more quickly. Sirius Black, Dumbledore and, to some extent, Snape were much more useful after death, although Snape was being useful in life without our knowledge.
To conclude, this is clearly the most serious and dramatic film of them all and so it's difficult to write a more relaxed summary with so many deaths and epic battles. Nevertheless, it doesn't lose its identity and nor deviates from the previous ones. Although it is a battle-filled film and completely subordinate to the war theme, it's brilliant, and incredibly subtle, the effort of the production not to turn these last two chapters into action films. The Harry Potter saga is fantasy, not action, and it's great that they managed to keep that. Summarizing the series, I can say that I liked it a lot and I became a fan.”
Here's the whole "No-Maj Ponders Potter" series for re-readings whenever you want:
“I now come to the end of this wonderful collection of films with the incredible Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (part 2) (2011). I would like to make an analysis not only of the last chapter but also of the whole series.
At the beginning of the movie, Harry Potter is in a patient's house doing some illegal trading. Turns out he wants to rob a bank and is coercing a poor employee into letting him in. The truth is that not only does he get the little creature's help in exchange for the Gryffindor sword, but he can also enter the bank incredibly easily using only a small amount of charms. For a magic bank, it seemed ridiculously incompetent dealing with magical users. Harry then finds himself in someone's vault and steals a glass of gold, but he doesn't get to laugh because the goblin tries to catch him there, which probably earned him the employee's of the month bonus. But unfortunately, Harry Potter convinces a dragon to give him a ride. He's probably promised him gold, as he had tried to do the same thing with the man at the bank. It's already known that dragons love gold, sometimes even more than Harry Potter himself. Both dragons and crows like to collect shiny things to put in the nest, this is more than known.
Anyone who thinks that Harry Potter's thirst for expensive gold objects and accessories ends here is well-mistaken because he has the nerve to go ask a ghost for a tiara to and then steals it when everyone is distracted. His friends Hermione and Ron, meanwhile, break the glass to stop Harry's mania from stealing other people's gold, and also because they feel bad about keeping stolen items in their possession. I just don't know why they didn't turn it over to the police or give it back to the owner.
Then Voldemort, who walks around with a pet snake, arrives at Hogwarts with a lot of people and tries to invade it but isn't powerful enough so he meets with Snape and the snake ends up killing the sinister teacher. In his last breath, he can still ask Harry Potter to collect his tears and take them to that pot where they put the spaghetti. When Harry dips his head in the water that he sees the true story of Snape and we all begin to like him very much.
Approaching the end of the film, Harry meets Voldemort in a forest revealing some naivety, as one shouldn't respond to this kind of anonymous invitations. We could totally predict that Voldemort was going to cast an avada kedavra. Harry dies and Voldemort has a big party and invites everyone, but then Harry wakes up and defeats the fearsome wizard in an exciting battle.
As always, here are my thoughts on the characters in this movie:
Harry Potter: In this film, he was clearly the most influential character and one who carried the story forward the most. Also because his friends are more concerned with each other than helping him defeat one of the most powerful wizards ever.
Ron and Hermione: In the last chapters of the film it seemed to me that there is no group of 3 friends and there is a group of 1 + 2 friends. I am not saying that the romance between them is not to be explored but I think it could have been done differently.
Harry's child: Whoever thought that a child thinking he's the most powerful sorcerer in the world was evil and would annoys a lot of people, get ready for the son of the strongest sorcerer in the world who defeated Voldemort. I bet at this time at Hogwarts, they're all fed up with the conversation "my dad is stronger than yours because he beat the bald demon."
Snape: It was difficult to escape the spoilers and I was writing as someone who didn't know the final twist would have as a first thought but the truth is that that mysterious black aura captivates the viewer.
Voldemort: It started out as a teacher's skin disease and ended up with an army behind and almost killed our dear Potter. It's a blatant case in which one could well have cut off evil at the root.
The bad guys: They'd always been one step ahead but when the good guys discovered that Voldemort kept his soul in pieces of costume jewelry, there was a little more balance.
The good ones: at first they helped Harry a lot but by the end they were already hanging a bit in his powers. The peak of the influence of a good character comes after his death, and nothing can get out of my head that if Voldemort had killed half a dozen more people, he would have been defeated more quickly. Sirius Black, Dumbledore and, to some extent, Snape were much more useful after death, although Snape was being useful in life without our knowledge.
To conclude, this is clearly the most serious and dramatic film of them all and so it's difficult to write a more relaxed summary with so many deaths and epic battles. Nevertheless, it doesn't lose its identity and nor deviates from the previous ones. Although it is a battle-filled film and completely subordinate to the war theme, it's brilliant, and incredibly subtle, the effort of the production not to turn these last two chapters into action films. The Harry Potter saga is fantasy, not action, and it's great that they managed to keep that. Summarizing the series, I can say that I liked it a lot and I became a fan.”
Here's the whole "No-Maj Ponders Potter" series for re-readings whenever you want:
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Philosopher's Stone
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Chamber Of Secrets
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Goblet of Fire
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Order of the Phoenix
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Half-Blood Prince
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Deathly Hallows (part 1)
Saturday, 28 July 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Deathly Hallows (part 1)
My godson is back for the penultimate post of his journey through the Harry Potter films! This time he brings us his review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 (2010)!
“If you thought that stuck up kid thinking he's the strongest magician of them all was already annoying, then get ready for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
For those of you who, like myself, have been slightly annoyed by these films right from the start because they're based on a spoiled child who thinks he's better that everyone, maybe perhaps you shouldn't even look at this 2010 film since we're not even fifteen minutes into the movie and we already have nothing less than 6 Harry Potters. What happens is that, being a minor, Harry can be watched by the ministry and, to continue his journey fighting against Voldemort, it's necessary that his location isn't known. So 5 of his friends drink a potion that makes them look like him. This film not only causes a certain distress because of this multiplication of Potters but afterwards we still have to deal with the clones as each one retains its original voice tone. I didn't realize if the potion worked or if this is the worst disguise of the century, since if anyone has the idea of talking to them, the disguise is quickly figured out.
Suddenly, they all start to flee and I get even angrier because they disturb the lives of the poor people who don't go around casting spells. Someone is on the street minding their bussiness, living their life, and suddenly about fifteen witches street race past them. I had heard stories that there's always an uncle in the countryside who takes his nephew in the car or the tractor so he can see how good it is to drive and there are usually accidents. I just didn't expect this to happen to both Harry and Hagrid: drive the wrong way on a freeway with a side-car while competing with Voldemort's henchmen. At some point, Hagrid falls asleep while driving! Actually, if at the beginning of the saga someone asked me to take a guess on who'd drive on the wrong side of the street, I would place my bet on Dumbledore, given his advanced age and how elders are much more likely to have for this kind of "adventures". I didn't expect Harry Potter to be introduced to the world of illegal racing by a drunk and sleepy Hagrid, since he even looked like a nice giant.
At the end of the race I expected to see the pimped brooms and the losers paying their bets, maybe one or two punches from being sore losers, but all you see are all the Harry Potters going back to their original bodies at Ron's. We learn that the Mad-Eye was killed, no wonder. I wasn't too sad because the clones idea was his own. Ron, Harry and Hermione have to flee after an attack and go to London to infiltrate the ministry of magic disguised as officials. They manage to steal a Horcrux, a necklace from Professor Dolores, but they are discovered and have to flee to a forest where they practice shooting at the object to destroy the third fragment of Voldemort's soul. Since they are unsuccessful, Harry puts it around the neck to guard it, but he becomes extremely ill-disposed and cranky. I've had the same thing with wool sweaters because of the itching, there are clothes and accessories of very poor quality nowadays. They can annoy even the calmest person. We realized that Voldemort had saved up on his Horcruxes and probably went to Claire's to buy the necklace and the ring. Dumbledore had already complained about the poor quality of that pinchbeck and I even remember having a very annoying allergy in one of his hands.
The three friends walk out of the forest and it's not very clear where to, but as they show the tent where they live in different landscapes they also show a very serious Ron while the background music becomes more audible, this is the scenic sila for "he's up to something". And he was. At nightfall he fussed over Harry and got all pissed off, leaving the tent with a backpack. Fortunately, he returns soon after and he's the one who saves the Harry from drowning and who destroys the Horcrux with a beautiful sword swing! They all go to Luna's house, where they learn what the deathly hallows are and they get trapped, there is a battle and Dobby dies. He's killed by that witch who killed Sirius Black.
As always, here my opinion about certain characters:
Dumbledore: He was more useful dead in one movie than in four alive! Although Harry Potter expected a heirloom in cash and the Elder Wand, that pool ball will be much more useful and, together the objects the three friends received, will help finding the remaining Horcruxes!
Harry Potter: Although Harry is older and therefore less annoying than at the beginning of the series I still think one is enough.
Ron: I warned since the beginning that Ron needs to stop getting into Harry's problems and this time it seemed like he listened to me for a moment but then regretted it and went back.
The Good: They are always a step behind Voldemort, they didn't take advantage while he was in people's bald heads and now they're paying the price. While Voldemort was a fungus they might as well have sprayed someone's head with medicine for the lice or when he was a gecko someone should have stepped on him but now it's too late!
The Bad: Bellatrix is much more evil than Voldemort, if the hakehead doesn't start to pay attention the bad side may elect another CEO.
In conclusion: one of the best movies in the saga! It's very well structured and finally has a guiding line of action: the search and destruction of the Horcruxes. While some of the previous titles seemed to be guided by what the characters thought about doing, there is finally an action plan. Nice movie, yes sir.”
Don't miss the next review on the second part of the Deathly Hallows! If you haven't yet read the previous ones you can find them here:
“If you thought that stuck up kid thinking he's the strongest magician of them all was already annoying, then get ready for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!
For those of you who, like myself, have been slightly annoyed by these films right from the start because they're based on a spoiled child who thinks he's better that everyone, maybe perhaps you shouldn't even look at this 2010 film since we're not even fifteen minutes into the movie and we already have nothing less than 6 Harry Potters. What happens is that, being a minor, Harry can be watched by the ministry and, to continue his journey fighting against Voldemort, it's necessary that his location isn't known. So 5 of his friends drink a potion that makes them look like him. This film not only causes a certain distress because of this multiplication of Potters but afterwards we still have to deal with the clones as each one retains its original voice tone. I didn't realize if the potion worked or if this is the worst disguise of the century, since if anyone has the idea of talking to them, the disguise is quickly figured out.
Suddenly, they all start to flee and I get even angrier because they disturb the lives of the poor people who don't go around casting spells. Someone is on the street minding their bussiness, living their life, and suddenly about fifteen witches street race past them. I had heard stories that there's always an uncle in the countryside who takes his nephew in the car or the tractor so he can see how good it is to drive and there are usually accidents. I just didn't expect this to happen to both Harry and Hagrid: drive the wrong way on a freeway with a side-car while competing with Voldemort's henchmen. At some point, Hagrid falls asleep while driving! Actually, if at the beginning of the saga someone asked me to take a guess on who'd drive on the wrong side of the street, I would place my bet on Dumbledore, given his advanced age and how elders are much more likely to have for this kind of "adventures". I didn't expect Harry Potter to be introduced to the world of illegal racing by a drunk and sleepy Hagrid, since he even looked like a nice giant.
At the end of the race I expected to see the pimped brooms and the losers paying their bets, maybe one or two punches from being sore losers, but all you see are all the Harry Potters going back to their original bodies at Ron's. We learn that the Mad-Eye was killed, no wonder. I wasn't too sad because the clones idea was his own. Ron, Harry and Hermione have to flee after an attack and go to London to infiltrate the ministry of magic disguised as officials. They manage to steal a Horcrux, a necklace from Professor Dolores, but they are discovered and have to flee to a forest where they practice shooting at the object to destroy the third fragment of Voldemort's soul. Since they are unsuccessful, Harry puts it around the neck to guard it, but he becomes extremely ill-disposed and cranky. I've had the same thing with wool sweaters because of the itching, there are clothes and accessories of very poor quality nowadays. They can annoy even the calmest person. We realized that Voldemort had saved up on his Horcruxes and probably went to Claire's to buy the necklace and the ring. Dumbledore had already complained about the poor quality of that pinchbeck and I even remember having a very annoying allergy in one of his hands.
The three friends walk out of the forest and it's not very clear where to, but as they show the tent where they live in different landscapes they also show a very serious Ron while the background music becomes more audible, this is the scenic sila for "he's up to something". And he was. At nightfall he fussed over Harry and got all pissed off, leaving the tent with a backpack. Fortunately, he returns soon after and he's the one who saves the Harry from drowning and who destroys the Horcrux with a beautiful sword swing! They all go to Luna's house, where they learn what the deathly hallows are and they get trapped, there is a battle and Dobby dies. He's killed by that witch who killed Sirius Black.
As always, here my opinion about certain characters:
Dumbledore: He was more useful dead in one movie than in four alive! Although Harry Potter expected a heirloom in cash and the Elder Wand, that pool ball will be much more useful and, together the objects the three friends received, will help finding the remaining Horcruxes!
Harry Potter: Although Harry is older and therefore less annoying than at the beginning of the series I still think one is enough.
Ron: I warned since the beginning that Ron needs to stop getting into Harry's problems and this time it seemed like he listened to me for a moment but then regretted it and went back.
The Good: They are always a step behind Voldemort, they didn't take advantage while he was in people's bald heads and now they're paying the price. While Voldemort was a fungus they might as well have sprayed someone's head with medicine for the lice or when he was a gecko someone should have stepped on him but now it's too late!
The Bad: Bellatrix is much more evil than Voldemort, if the hakehead doesn't start to pay attention the bad side may elect another CEO.
In conclusion: one of the best movies in the saga! It's very well structured and finally has a guiding line of action: the search and destruction of the Horcruxes. While some of the previous titles seemed to be guided by what the characters thought about doing, there is finally an action plan. Nice movie, yes sir.”
Don't miss the next review on the second part of the Deathly Hallows! If you haven't yet read the previous ones you can find them here:
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Philosopher's Stone
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Chamber Of Secrets
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Goblet of Fire
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Order of the Phoenix
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Half-Blood Prince
Sunday, 24 June 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Half-Blood Prince
And we're back at it again with my godson and his journey through the Harry Potter movies! This time he brings us his review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)!
“Voldemort continues to increase both his army and powers but Dumbledore and Harry Potter don't seem very worried and are going on a trip through the city together. There are bridges being destroyed and Harry is just reading a newspaper in a pastry shop. But don't think that the Hogwarts director is more worried! Instead of hurrying to cast half a dozen spells on Voldemort and his henchmen, he prefers to visit an abandoned house. They light up their wands and start searcing other people's houses as if it were their own. If I lived closeby, I wouldn't hesitate on calling the police to tell them that there were two wizards invading private property!
Harry and Albus go through the lot until, amidst the confusion, the mess and dirt, is a very neat armchair. That, of course, catches Dumbledore's attention and, as a grown child, he can't resist touching it. It causes the chairs to suddenly get a head and limbs! I, just for precaution, would soon send a Stupefy to that creature but the director of Hogwarts and Harry do nothing, showing some inattention and lack of preparation to deal with surprise attacks. Then you realise that, after all, the armchair was just a person, Horace Slughorn, with the habit of transforming himself into furniture in abandoned houses during his free time. Dumbledore is so impressed by his talents that he hires him as a teacher at the magic school.
Further on, Draco acts suspiciously and Snape vows to help him complete Voldemort's missions. Already in Hogwarts, Harry Potter discovers a book that belonged to a mysterious prince and uses it to cheat in potions class to win a bottle of Felix Felicis. I believe a student who has this kind of attitude should be punished! Stealing other people's stuff and copying the work is reprehensible. But Harry escapes a penalty from lack of material and a reprimand by making a soup of can burn leaves. For those who only eat soup, it's cream and don't like green stuff floating around, here is a good potion. Otherwise I do'nt see its usefulness.
One day, Harry Potter is out walking with his friends in the snow and sees a girl being a victim of spells! She levitates really high and her mouth is wide open before being thrown back to the ground. It's a beautiful show but it didn't seem be very relevant plot-wise. Dumbledore wants Harry to approach the new teacher to see if he catches him distracted and removes one of those strands of hair that go into the water to see memories. Harry immediately starts being the teacher's pet. Every day, all the time, he's always being very attentive and very curious and, what on the one hand entertains the viewer, on the other hand annoys a lot. Malfoy goes to the basement and finds a box so old that there are mice in there, puts an apple there and some time later it's already a bit chewed.
I was trying to ignore that irritating little girl's crush on Ron but the part where the introduction and development intersect in this film is very confusing because of all the cuts between scenes so the actions rarely have a beginning, middle and end in a same scene and that affects my critical appreciation. So here's a paragraph to say I believe it's wrong! I know that Ron's going to be with Hermione, but that girl is already annoying me, so I think it's appropriate to leave it very explicit here! What's good is that this doesn't last too long because from then on Ron is poisoned and grabs Hermione's hand, which leaves the other girl pretty pissed off.
Moving on, and to make up for all this irritation, Harry sends a Sectumsempra to Malfoy to teach him a lesson! That's right, Harry! Continuing the cut done earlier to get Slughorn's spaghetti, Harry gets him drunk and thus, finishes his mission. In the spaghetti it's apparent that the new potions teacher taught Tom Riddle to make horcruxes. All these horcruxes must be destroyed to kill Voldemort so Harry and Dumbledore go to a cave to go boating and drink lemon juice with a shell. Then they're attacked by many bugs but they manage to escape. However, the Horcrux had already been stolen and so they failed to destroy it. When they return to Hogwarts, Snape kills Dumbledore, which makes me very angry. Hogwarts is taken over by the Black Forces!
As for the characters in particular:
Horace Slughorn: Has a strange hobby of disguising himself as furniture, but other than that he proves to be useful at the end of the movie.
Severus Snape: I always said he was bad and in this movie he proved it. In the end it's known that he's the mysterious prince.
Harry Potter: some lack of preparation to deal with the bad guys but still a nice Sectumsempra against Malfoy and Snape. I didn't like to see him make Dumbledore drink sour water.
Dumbledore: he's the martyr of this film; begins with a dark hand and ends up dead, having to drink expired things in order to get a necklace. I enjoyed his performance during the series although I think that if he was so powerful he could've shown more on certain occasions.
Voldemort: is gaining ground but didn't appear much, it's boring.
Love: Damn! But was this movie released on Valentine's Day? It wasn't! It was on July! Was it necessary to show the characters' adolescense so clearly? Maybe it wasn't! The subject of the moment stopped being Voldemort dominating the world and happened to be Ron, Hermione and the annoying girl... Harry and Ron's sister... The other boy that I don't know the name and Hermione! If I was Voldemort I would have been upset and in the next movie I would start to killing people! So they won't leave him in the background!
In conclusion, it's a extremely difficult movie to summarize because the actions don't have a logical sequence, the scenes are cut by other ones that have nothing to do with the first one and often important things remain to be said because they're spaced for more than 10 minutes. Of course this happens in several movies, but I found some unnecessary cuts in this one.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Deathly Hallows! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
“Voldemort continues to increase both his army and powers but Dumbledore and Harry Potter don't seem very worried and are going on a trip through the city together. There are bridges being destroyed and Harry is just reading a newspaper in a pastry shop. But don't think that the Hogwarts director is more worried! Instead of hurrying to cast half a dozen spells on Voldemort and his henchmen, he prefers to visit an abandoned house. They light up their wands and start searcing other people's houses as if it were their own. If I lived closeby, I wouldn't hesitate on calling the police to tell them that there were two wizards invading private property!
Harry and Albus go through the lot until, amidst the confusion, the mess and dirt, is a very neat armchair. That, of course, catches Dumbledore's attention and, as a grown child, he can't resist touching it. It causes the chairs to suddenly get a head and limbs! I, just for precaution, would soon send a Stupefy to that creature but the director of Hogwarts and Harry do nothing, showing some inattention and lack of preparation to deal with surprise attacks. Then you realise that, after all, the armchair was just a person, Horace Slughorn, with the habit of transforming himself into furniture in abandoned houses during his free time. Dumbledore is so impressed by his talents that he hires him as a teacher at the magic school.
Further on, Draco acts suspiciously and Snape vows to help him complete Voldemort's missions. Already in Hogwarts, Harry Potter discovers a book that belonged to a mysterious prince and uses it to cheat in potions class to win a bottle of Felix Felicis. I believe a student who has this kind of attitude should be punished! Stealing other people's stuff and copying the work is reprehensible. But Harry escapes a penalty from lack of material and a reprimand by making a soup of can burn leaves. For those who only eat soup, it's cream and don't like green stuff floating around, here is a good potion. Otherwise I do'nt see its usefulness.
One day, Harry Potter is out walking with his friends in the snow and sees a girl being a victim of spells! She levitates really high and her mouth is wide open before being thrown back to the ground. It's a beautiful show but it didn't seem be very relevant plot-wise. Dumbledore wants Harry to approach the new teacher to see if he catches him distracted and removes one of those strands of hair that go into the water to see memories. Harry immediately starts being the teacher's pet. Every day, all the time, he's always being very attentive and very curious and, what on the one hand entertains the viewer, on the other hand annoys a lot. Malfoy goes to the basement and finds a box so old that there are mice in there, puts an apple there and some time later it's already a bit chewed.
I was trying to ignore that irritating little girl's crush on Ron but the part where the introduction and development intersect in this film is very confusing because of all the cuts between scenes so the actions rarely have a beginning, middle and end in a same scene and that affects my critical appreciation. So here's a paragraph to say I believe it's wrong! I know that Ron's going to be with Hermione, but that girl is already annoying me, so I think it's appropriate to leave it very explicit here! What's good is that this doesn't last too long because from then on Ron is poisoned and grabs Hermione's hand, which leaves the other girl pretty pissed off.
Moving on, and to make up for all this irritation, Harry sends a Sectumsempra to Malfoy to teach him a lesson! That's right, Harry! Continuing the cut done earlier to get Slughorn's spaghetti, Harry gets him drunk and thus, finishes his mission. In the spaghetti it's apparent that the new potions teacher taught Tom Riddle to make horcruxes. All these horcruxes must be destroyed to kill Voldemort so Harry and Dumbledore go to a cave to go boating and drink lemon juice with a shell. Then they're attacked by many bugs but they manage to escape. However, the Horcrux had already been stolen and so they failed to destroy it. When they return to Hogwarts, Snape kills Dumbledore, which makes me very angry. Hogwarts is taken over by the Black Forces!
As for the characters in particular:
Horace Slughorn: Has a strange hobby of disguising himself as furniture, but other than that he proves to be useful at the end of the movie.
Severus Snape: I always said he was bad and in this movie he proved it. In the end it's known that he's the mysterious prince.
Harry Potter: some lack of preparation to deal with the bad guys but still a nice Sectumsempra against Malfoy and Snape. I didn't like to see him make Dumbledore drink sour water.
Dumbledore: he's the martyr of this film; begins with a dark hand and ends up dead, having to drink expired things in order to get a necklace. I enjoyed his performance during the series although I think that if he was so powerful he could've shown more on certain occasions.
Voldemort: is gaining ground but didn't appear much, it's boring.
Love: Damn! But was this movie released on Valentine's Day? It wasn't! It was on July! Was it necessary to show the characters' adolescense so clearly? Maybe it wasn't! The subject of the moment stopped being Voldemort dominating the world and happened to be Ron, Hermione and the annoying girl... Harry and Ron's sister... The other boy that I don't know the name and Hermione! If I was Voldemort I would have been upset and in the next movie I would start to killing people! So they won't leave him in the background!
In conclusion, it's a extremely difficult movie to summarize because the actions don't have a logical sequence, the scenes are cut by other ones that have nothing to do with the first one and often important things remain to be said because they're spaced for more than 10 minutes. Of course this happens in several movies, but I found some unnecessary cuts in this one.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Deathly Hallows! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Philosopher's Stone
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Chamber Of Secrets
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Goblet of Fire
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Order of the Phoenix
Sunday, 3 June 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Order of the Phoenix
My godson and his journey through the Harry Potter movies are back! This time he brings us his review of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)!
Harry Potter is now old enough to play football but prefers to go swinging instead. He is, therefore, mocked by his cousin and when he's ready to start punishing him, rain starts to pour down and they have to find shelter in a tunnel where Dementors appear. But Harry Potter, using magic, manages to save himself and his cousin. Then some old lady, Potter's neighbour, appears and says she was instructed by Dumbledore to watch over the wizard prodigy. I'd like to leave here a remark about the work of the old woman who, for a bodyguard, wasn't even able to draw her wand to prevent the monsters sucking the face of two teenagers. On a private security scale I believe the traditional "gorillas" would do a better job of punching the vile creatures.
The main character then returns to his uncles' home where he receives a letter from the ministry informing him that he's been expelled from Hogwarts for doing the magic that saved his life. I know people who would love this card system to be real so they could send angry messages from a distance. When the uncles leave the house, Harry is rescued by the drunk professor and a few of his mates. One of them wears a funnel in his head so he's either escaped from a psychiatric institution or is the man from the "Wizard of Oz".
Harry spends the night at the Order of the Phoenix headquarters and the next day he goes to a sort of trial where he'll be confronted with the irregularities he practiced against the Dementors. I thought that Harry Potter, alone against a "judge" who had been bribed by Lucius Malfoy, would automatically be doomed, but suddenly Dumbledore appears in his defense. I'm not sure about his attorney fees but I don't think they'll be cheap. I believe Potter will have spent a small part of his parents' fortune to hire a lawyer in this category.
Acquitted of all charges, he returns to Hogwarts where he learns about the arrival of a new teacher, a lady who at his hearing and tried to expel him from Hogwarts. It soon becomes apparent that her teaching methods are quite different from the other teachers. Students should only learn the theory because, in the opinion of the teacher and the ministry, there is no need for more than that. The teacher starts gaining power at Hogwarts, which makes me deeply angry, anxious and hopeful that Harry will quickly cast a spell on her to put her in order!
Harry then joins a small team to play spells against Voldemort's team. The Dumbledore Army squad has a few stars but most of them are people that don't know how to work with their wands. In order to make things a bit more balanced, Potter organizes training sessions in a secret room to create routines in the team and thus wining. At the end of the movie we watched the most exciting battle so far and the long-awaited use of stronger spells. Dumbledore, who's supposed to be a great sorcerer, is playing with water balls while a disheveled woman kills Sirius Black.
Now about the characters in this movie:
Dolores
She's probably the most irritating person in the history of the cinema, whenever she appears on the screen I have to clench both my fists and teeth, muttering imperceptible enraged things. For about two hours I was eager for justice. So many people in that school and no one has a clue how to put her in line? If they aren't able to think of new and innovative methods of humiliating teachers what kind of students are these? At least get her coat on fire! It worked with Snape! I always complained about my primary school class but the truth is that if some of my classmates were to be magical, at least one pushpin in Dolores's chair was certain! When the viewer thinks he can not get angrier and is already chewing the popcorn so hard that he doesn't even feel the corn kernels, the school continuum develops a crush on the teacher and they start a kind of double to control Harry Potter and ban everything and anything else at that school. At this point I can no longer express anger in words. I will then pause while I count to ten and take a deep, slow breath...
Dumbledore
At his age he should have gained a little bit of judgment and not be involved in silly and childish plays such as not talking to Harry Potter. She won't even look at him! I don't know if they're angry at each other or what happened, but with Voldemort gaining ground, I don't think it's wise to go through half of the movie with his back turned.
As final thoughts I can only say:
Now that's what I'm talking about! I have been repeatedly asking for more powerful spells and now I've finally seen something. In the final battle you can already see some seemingly powerful spells. And the "good" side already has good spells and is gaining quality by the movie. Ignoring the sad death of Sirius Black, I was glad to realize that there is a chance the Hogwarts school will defeat Voldemort.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Half-Blood Prince! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Philosopher's Stone
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Chamber Of Secrets
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Goblet of Fire
Saturday, 19 May 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Goblet of Fire
Have you missed my godson's journey through the Harry Potter films? Well, today he's back at it again with his review of the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)!
“Unlike the previous chapters, this movie doesn't start with Harry being the victim of mistreatment in his uncles' house. Instead, we find ourselves with an old man trying to enter an abandoned house. Probably a homeless friend of Professor Lupin and Sirius Black. When he manages to get inside, he encounters that balding and very clumsy rat-man talking to someone sitting in an armchair. The only thing we could see form the person resting in the armchair was a skeletal hand poiting with his finger, recognized by all movie lovers. Shortly after this, the character notices the presence of the homeless and, instead of offering him coffee and cookies, shoots him a spell. I would never say that E.T. didn't enjoy guests.
Harry Potter and Ron are woken up by Hermione in a hovel they must have rented. Oh, well... Teenagers are like this, they rebel against their families and go live in herds. They pick their housing according to their degree of drug addiction: small apartments next to universities for the sporadic users, hippy wagons for the usual consumer and houses in ruins for the most serious cases. Drugs and summer festivals are the top pastimes of teenagers, and Harry's group is ready to go to a festival when they meet the Twilight vampire. Turns out he's playing the stud-role, judging the way Hermione looks (there's no need for that, we all know he ends up with Bella Swan). By now, you should know my opinion about characters who play a stud-role: I always suspect that they're malicious or that they hide secrets. I will watch Edward Cullen's behavior with suspicion. The main signs that tell us we have reached teenhood are long hair, sleeping till noon, drug usage and attendance at festivals. No doubt that Harry Potter, his friends and the other people who walk behind them (I think it's Ron's family) meet all these requirements.
But, fortunately, adolescence gives us as much as it takes from us, and Harry has acquired a bit of responsibility. After a fire at the festival they travel by train to Hogwarts because holidays are very nice but studies come first. During the trip, a lady walks past with a cart full of sweets, just like the ones Harry bought in the first movie. Ron buys some things and Harry was already ready to buy the whole cart when a girl anticipates herself and gets some candy. I don't know whether it's because he has gained some economic sense or because he likes to buy things before they are opened by other people, Harry ends up not buying the whole candy cart. At Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that they will host the Triwizard Tournament, where three schools meet and compete with a student in a game involving three tasks. The director of one of them, Madame Maxime, is a giant and only there to distract Hagrid, throughout the film, who doesn't realise that it's a disguise to destroy his heart. It's certainly Voldemort's ploy to prevent Hagrid from helping Harry: being always around her, Hagrid won't remember that Harry might need help. Then a drunken man with a strange eye comes in and starts firing spells everywhere.
The singing up method for the competition is confusing and no wonder it will later give problems. Whoever wishes to register must fill out their application, which is nothing more than their name on a piece of paper and throw it into the fire. When the contestants are chosen, Harry is among them and no one's happy about it. Personally, I think it's the way they made the students to sign up. Hogwarts goes ahead with two candidates while each of the other schools only has one. In the first task, Harry runs away from a dragon to fly on a broom until the animal flies against a bridge and he manages to steal his egg. In the second, more complicated, Harry eats some spinach that gives him fins and lets him breathe under water. I'm not sure if this shouldn't have been considered dopping, since his opponents only had a shark mask, air bubble and I'm not even sure about the other one. The third and final test is a maze in which Harry Potter, boasting himself, even launches fireworks before victory. After winning he's transported to the presence of Voldemort where they fight a semi-epic battle, given that he flees halfway.
About the characters in this saga:
Voldemort
At the beginning we only see a skeletal hand and a stretched finger so we conclude that this time Voldemort is masked as E.T. At the end of the movie the rat man mercilessly shoots a baby into a boiling cauldron and adds Harry Potter's blood and a bone. From this mix a sort of fish with legs is born, saying he is Voldemort but I don't believe it. During the saga we were following Voldemort's preference for bald heads, so it's no surprise to anyone that the fish it's said he has turned into is also bald. When I was younger, I was offered a toy, apparently made of plastic figures. Playing time consisted in immersing these dolls in water and, as if by magic, within a while, they became jelly dolls several times larger than the original ones. I confess I've never experimented with a Dark Lord but I have to take my hat off to Peter Pettigrew for the idea. Then this legged fish duels with Harry Potter but he manages to escape.
Dumbledore
They say he's a great wizard but so far he hasn't been able to do much. At lighting up and extinguishing candles he's the greatest but when it comes to defeating enemies, he leaves a lot to be desired. Both he and Snape are very weak, doing only the most basic spells. If they don't improve quickly they will take serious risks in the next films, moreover now that the fish that killed the vampire is quite strong and will soon get inside Hogwarts. I think Dumbledore is out of energy and should think about retirement. At some point he starts taking out of his hair a few strands of spaghetti and puts them in a pot, he looks in and says that he is remembering things... I seriously don't think he's in good shape, he's a nice person, yes, but we need someone more suitable.
Cedric
I confess that I distrusted this boy early in the movie, but after all he's a decent guy. It's urgent to appeal against the prejudices towards vampires, as he could totally be in the sunlight and didn't see him bite anyone. He even helped Harry Potter in the triward competition.
Hermione and Ron
They finally gained some personality and left Harry alone. This kept them from getting into trouble. Earlier, I had warned that if this didn't happen, they would all die because of Harry's foolish ideas. Fortunately they gained some sense and stayed unarmed.
Moody
He's a drunk guy who appears firing up his wand in the air, killing spider and to turning students into weasels. Throughout the entire film he's been hanging on to the alcohol. Note that he's a very powerful wizard and helps Harry Potter on several occasions. When his drink finishes, he starts to bubble until he turns into the son of the Head of the Department of International Cooperation in Magic, a friend of Voldemort's, as he'd been seen in one of Dumbledore's spaghetti. The real Moody is inside an ark. I don'tt know if the real Moody is going to stay at Hogwarts but I do not think so.
As my final thoughts, with some cheating involved, the school of Hogwarts got the trophy. I confess that at this point I expected more powerful spells from the "good ones." The "bad guys" have very good and strong spells, while Hogwarts only seems to teach how to light up the tip of a magic wand. If the teachers think that they're going to beat the great Lord of black magic with Expelliarmus and Wingardium Leviosa they are well deceived.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Order of Phoenix! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
“Unlike the previous chapters, this movie doesn't start with Harry being the victim of mistreatment in his uncles' house. Instead, we find ourselves with an old man trying to enter an abandoned house. Probably a homeless friend of Professor Lupin and Sirius Black. When he manages to get inside, he encounters that balding and very clumsy rat-man talking to someone sitting in an armchair. The only thing we could see form the person resting in the armchair was a skeletal hand poiting with his finger, recognized by all movie lovers. Shortly after this, the character notices the presence of the homeless and, instead of offering him coffee and cookies, shoots him a spell. I would never say that E.T. didn't enjoy guests.
Harry Potter and Ron are woken up by Hermione in a hovel they must have rented. Oh, well... Teenagers are like this, they rebel against their families and go live in herds. They pick their housing according to their degree of drug addiction: small apartments next to universities for the sporadic users, hippy wagons for the usual consumer and houses in ruins for the most serious cases. Drugs and summer festivals are the top pastimes of teenagers, and Harry's group is ready to go to a festival when they meet the Twilight vampire. Turns out he's playing the stud-role, judging the way Hermione looks (there's no need for that, we all know he ends up with Bella Swan). By now, you should know my opinion about characters who play a stud-role: I always suspect that they're malicious or that they hide secrets. I will watch Edward Cullen's behavior with suspicion. The main signs that tell us we have reached teenhood are long hair, sleeping till noon, drug usage and attendance at festivals. No doubt that Harry Potter, his friends and the other people who walk behind them (I think it's Ron's family) meet all these requirements.
But, fortunately, adolescence gives us as much as it takes from us, and Harry has acquired a bit of responsibility. After a fire at the festival they travel by train to Hogwarts because holidays are very nice but studies come first. During the trip, a lady walks past with a cart full of sweets, just like the ones Harry bought in the first movie. Ron buys some things and Harry was already ready to buy the whole cart when a girl anticipates herself and gets some candy. I don't know whether it's because he has gained some economic sense or because he likes to buy things before they are opened by other people, Harry ends up not buying the whole candy cart. At Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that they will host the Triwizard Tournament, where three schools meet and compete with a student in a game involving three tasks. The director of one of them, Madame Maxime, is a giant and only there to distract Hagrid, throughout the film, who doesn't realise that it's a disguise to destroy his heart. It's certainly Voldemort's ploy to prevent Hagrid from helping Harry: being always around her, Hagrid won't remember that Harry might need help. Then a drunken man with a strange eye comes in and starts firing spells everywhere.
The singing up method for the competition is confusing and no wonder it will later give problems. Whoever wishes to register must fill out their application, which is nothing more than their name on a piece of paper and throw it into the fire. When the contestants are chosen, Harry is among them and no one's happy about it. Personally, I think it's the way they made the students to sign up. Hogwarts goes ahead with two candidates while each of the other schools only has one. In the first task, Harry runs away from a dragon to fly on a broom until the animal flies against a bridge and he manages to steal his egg. In the second, more complicated, Harry eats some spinach that gives him fins and lets him breathe under water. I'm not sure if this shouldn't have been considered dopping, since his opponents only had a shark mask, air bubble and I'm not even sure about the other one. The third and final test is a maze in which Harry Potter, boasting himself, even launches fireworks before victory. After winning he's transported to the presence of Voldemort where they fight a semi-epic battle, given that he flees halfway.
About the characters in this saga:
Voldemort
At the beginning we only see a skeletal hand and a stretched finger so we conclude that this time Voldemort is masked as E.T. At the end of the movie the rat man mercilessly shoots a baby into a boiling cauldron and adds Harry Potter's blood and a bone. From this mix a sort of fish with legs is born, saying he is Voldemort but I don't believe it. During the saga we were following Voldemort's preference for bald heads, so it's no surprise to anyone that the fish it's said he has turned into is also bald. When I was younger, I was offered a toy, apparently made of plastic figures. Playing time consisted in immersing these dolls in water and, as if by magic, within a while, they became jelly dolls several times larger than the original ones. I confess I've never experimented with a Dark Lord but I have to take my hat off to Peter Pettigrew for the idea. Then this legged fish duels with Harry Potter but he manages to escape.
Dumbledore
They say he's a great wizard but so far he hasn't been able to do much. At lighting up and extinguishing candles he's the greatest but when it comes to defeating enemies, he leaves a lot to be desired. Both he and Snape are very weak, doing only the most basic spells. If they don't improve quickly they will take serious risks in the next films, moreover now that the fish that killed the vampire is quite strong and will soon get inside Hogwarts. I think Dumbledore is out of energy and should think about retirement. At some point he starts taking out of his hair a few strands of spaghetti and puts them in a pot, he looks in and says that he is remembering things... I seriously don't think he's in good shape, he's a nice person, yes, but we need someone more suitable.
Cedric
I confess that I distrusted this boy early in the movie, but after all he's a decent guy. It's urgent to appeal against the prejudices towards vampires, as he could totally be in the sunlight and didn't see him bite anyone. He even helped Harry Potter in the triward competition.
Hermione and Ron
They finally gained some personality and left Harry alone. This kept them from getting into trouble. Earlier, I had warned that if this didn't happen, they would all die because of Harry's foolish ideas. Fortunately they gained some sense and stayed unarmed.
Moody
He's a drunk guy who appears firing up his wand in the air, killing spider and to turning students into weasels. Throughout the entire film he's been hanging on to the alcohol. Note that he's a very powerful wizard and helps Harry Potter on several occasions. When his drink finishes, he starts to bubble until he turns into the son of the Head of the Department of International Cooperation in Magic, a friend of Voldemort's, as he'd been seen in one of Dumbledore's spaghetti. The real Moody is inside an ark. I don'tt know if the real Moody is going to stay at Hogwarts but I do not think so.
As my final thoughts, with some cheating involved, the school of Hogwarts got the trophy. I confess that at this point I expected more powerful spells from the "good ones." The "bad guys" have very good and strong spells, while Hogwarts only seems to teach how to light up the tip of a magic wand. If the teachers think that they're going to beat the great Lord of black magic with Expelliarmus and Wingardium Leviosa they are well deceived.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Order of Phoenix! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Philosopher's Stone
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Chamber Of Secrets
- A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
Sunday, 15 April 2018
A No-Maj Ponders Potter: The Prisoner of Azkaban
My 20-year-old godson is back at it again, with his Harry Potter movie journey, this time with his Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) review!
“In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban we find the main character again at his evil uncles' house but already a teenager, contrary to the previous chapters. We expect, therefore, typical teenager behaviours: pouting, rebellings and developing a peach fuzz. Well, we don't have to wait long until we see Harry Potter blowing up an aunt, kicking the furniture, and running away from home. In short: typical magical teenager behaviours. The uncles get upset and he ends up leaving the family. Of all the places that could be chosen for refuge on a rainy day after running away from home, our beloved wizard prefers to shelter himself in a cursed playground. Luckily, he doesn't stay there for long. He is rescued by a very weird bus where he makes troubled a trip by London's streets. One of those crazy people from the Knockturn Alley (hunchback and looking very closely at other people) comes in the bus calling Harry into a kind of tavern where his friends are.
When you think the bus trip was already weird enough, on the train trip to Hogwarts a creature appears freezing everything and starting to suck Harry's face. Their compartment is share with a homeless man wrapped in a blanket that wakes and points a light to the creature, which causes it to go away. This beggar later gives Harry Potter a chocolate. I fully understand that he couldn't offer anything else but the truth is that Harry is now a teenager: you can give chocolates to a child but toasting a teenager with sweets is halfway to get them pissed off for receiving candy instead of a mobile phone. Upon arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that Hagrid and Lupin (the beggar on the train) are the new teachers. On their first night at Hogwarts, Harry joins a group of friends and plays a teenage game probably involving some kind of narcotic drugs that change the voice of those who eat them.
The highlight of the film is the fight between Harry Potter and three vagabonds: Lupin, Sirius Black and a fat man who was inside Ron's rat. Two of them turn into dogs and the other one into a mouse and they all end up running away. Harry Potter, despite being the best sorcerer in the world, isn't able catch a mouse and two dogs. During the film his only accomplishment was to mount a giant pyriquito, not managing any other feat in animal area.
Characters that stood out in this movie:
Hagrid
He is promoted to Professor, but his lack of experience is notorious. The last time he took children into the woods they were almost attacked by Voldemort, but he still thought it was a good idea to take them to the woods for their first class. Another mistake was to put a bug that likes to be respected in front of teenagers who like to disrespect. Everyone knows that teenagers aren't very polite so it was predictable that, sooner or later, some young man would be kicked by the distinguished bird. Hagrid isn't fired because, judging by his meals (always tea), the hut where he lives and his clothes, he doesn't earn a big salary already. Still, because of this lesson, Malfoy is the one who gets kicks and consequently the animal is doomed to death.
Sirius Black
Early on it's understood that it will be Harry Potter's new enemy. He was the first sorcerer to escape from Azkaban, which gives him some prestige. But when he enters Hogwarts, the best he can do is putting a fat woman next to black pig in one of the school's pictures. When we realize that he is a beggar and also turns into a wolf, it is easy to conclude that Professor Lupin, another homeless man and possible werewolf, will be his friend. In the end Harry Potter and him are very close friends.
Lupin
He's proof that Hogwarts goes from bad to worse. After two failed hires, the third time could be the charm and they could even get a decent teacher. I think this is an unrealistic belief, since to have good teachers you need good wages and the first contact we have with him is sleeping wrapped in a blanket on a train seat. I think he's homeless, and goes to Hogwarts to teach in exchange for accommodation. He seems to be quite a nice man, but the second time he gave Harry some chocolate, I began to mistrust him. Why so much chocolate? Nobody gives this much chocolate to someone else without asking anything in return. It sure is poisoned. He has to be trying to traffic Voldemort in chocolate bars. If Voldemort can get into Harry's body by this mean it can be a good plan, depending on the amount of chocolate ingested.
In conclusion, in this episode we don't see Voldemort but we know that the plump man is made up with him because he's the only one with a bald head. It's in this movie that the Hogwarts School of Magic goes into decline. Underpaid teachers and insufficient safety show that this institution has had better days. It's the third teacher resigning... Three films and they still haven't found the right man for the position.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Goblet of Fire! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
“In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban we find the main character again at his evil uncles' house but already a teenager, contrary to the previous chapters. We expect, therefore, typical teenager behaviours: pouting, rebellings and developing a peach fuzz. Well, we don't have to wait long until we see Harry Potter blowing up an aunt, kicking the furniture, and running away from home. In short: typical magical teenager behaviours. The uncles get upset and he ends up leaving the family. Of all the places that could be chosen for refuge on a rainy day after running away from home, our beloved wizard prefers to shelter himself in a cursed playground. Luckily, he doesn't stay there for long. He is rescued by a very weird bus where he makes troubled a trip by London's streets. One of those crazy people from the Knockturn Alley (hunchback and looking very closely at other people) comes in the bus calling Harry into a kind of tavern where his friends are.
When you think the bus trip was already weird enough, on the train trip to Hogwarts a creature appears freezing everything and starting to suck Harry's face. Their compartment is share with a homeless man wrapped in a blanket that wakes and points a light to the creature, which causes it to go away. This beggar later gives Harry Potter a chocolate. I fully understand that he couldn't offer anything else but the truth is that Harry is now a teenager: you can give chocolates to a child but toasting a teenager with sweets is halfway to get them pissed off for receiving candy instead of a mobile phone. Upon arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore announces that Hagrid and Lupin (the beggar on the train) are the new teachers. On their first night at Hogwarts, Harry joins a group of friends and plays a teenage game probably involving some kind of narcotic drugs that change the voice of those who eat them.
The highlight of the film is the fight between Harry Potter and three vagabonds: Lupin, Sirius Black and a fat man who was inside Ron's rat. Two of them turn into dogs and the other one into a mouse and they all end up running away. Harry Potter, despite being the best sorcerer in the world, isn't able catch a mouse and two dogs. During the film his only accomplishment was to mount a giant pyriquito, not managing any other feat in animal area.
Characters that stood out in this movie:
Hagrid
He is promoted to Professor, but his lack of experience is notorious. The last time he took children into the woods they were almost attacked by Voldemort, but he still thought it was a good idea to take them to the woods for their first class. Another mistake was to put a bug that likes to be respected in front of teenagers who like to disrespect. Everyone knows that teenagers aren't very polite so it was predictable that, sooner or later, some young man would be kicked by the distinguished bird. Hagrid isn't fired because, judging by his meals (always tea), the hut where he lives and his clothes, he doesn't earn a big salary already. Still, because of this lesson, Malfoy is the one who gets kicks and consequently the animal is doomed to death.
Sirius Black
Early on it's understood that it will be Harry Potter's new enemy. He was the first sorcerer to escape from Azkaban, which gives him some prestige. But when he enters Hogwarts, the best he can do is putting a fat woman next to black pig in one of the school's pictures. When we realize that he is a beggar and also turns into a wolf, it is easy to conclude that Professor Lupin, another homeless man and possible werewolf, will be his friend. In the end Harry Potter and him are very close friends.
Lupin
He's proof that Hogwarts goes from bad to worse. After two failed hires, the third time could be the charm and they could even get a decent teacher. I think this is an unrealistic belief, since to have good teachers you need good wages and the first contact we have with him is sleeping wrapped in a blanket on a train seat. I think he's homeless, and goes to Hogwarts to teach in exchange for accommodation. He seems to be quite a nice man, but the second time he gave Harry some chocolate, I began to mistrust him. Why so much chocolate? Nobody gives this much chocolate to someone else without asking anything in return. It sure is poisoned. He has to be trying to traffic Voldemort in chocolate bars. If Voldemort can get into Harry's body by this mean it can be a good plan, depending on the amount of chocolate ingested.
In conclusion, in this episode we don't see Voldemort but we know that the plump man is made up with him because he's the only one with a bald head. It's in this movie that the Hogwarts School of Magic goes into decline. Underpaid teachers and insufficient safety show that this institution has had better days. It's the third teacher resigning... Three films and they still haven't found the right man for the position.”
Don't miss out on his next review on the Goblet of Fire! If you haven't read the previous ones so far, you can find them over here:
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